Home
   
01:08am 15/04/2006
  (sometime around 10 pm apr. 13)

its about time I suppose now the prose flows from my fingers like wine flows in greece. now I forgot anything I was about to say but thats ok. shearing sheeps. I dont know it rhymed. and I didn't even mean to.
as far as I know I'm quite completely alone. I haven't felt this way in a very long time. throughout the past year many people have walked in and out of my life and there's been much rumination over the subject of the year in review. around this time last year I was working cheap labor with a friend for his uncle remodeling the inside of pioneer tv and appliance, which used to be the old ben franklin. I was using the money I made to finance trips to green bay to visit a friend there, which ended up turning into more friends. I however could not leave for there, more people happened! what the fuck!!!!!! so anyways I stayed here and had the best fuckin' time every day living it out and living it up. disaster strikes. no job, no money, debt. not to mention several losses on my part of people whom I dearly love and unfortunately despite my best efforts, I could not help. In some situations I could do nothing at all. who do I turn to when the sunny days turn dark and black rain falls upon my head caused by consequences unforseen? Depression has muchly had its claws in my brain for far too long and I've had a hell of a time getting my mind right. STOP
western union stopped sending telegrams. all bets are void, pinhead tried stringing me up with chains and I ripped that shit off and spit in his face. I suppose that's my reward for trying to make friends with the devil. my time on this earth has been far too long yet to have so little to show for my existence. whether or not that's bullshit is completely speculation.
people have come and gone as they always have, some have returned and others have gotten farther away than I could've possibly imagined or hoped for their own welfare. As I said it's been a crazy fuckin year and I've dealt with the loss of love, family, friends; I am partially to blame in some instances. How we as humans choose to cope is our own agenda, I've only been dealing with shit the wrong way. yes.
Love has to be the single most important thing to me. It's not that I've been lacking it, I haven't even been giving people the chance to fuckin help me out. It's about time to show some gratitude.
This has been written with everyone in mind. anyone who knows me and reads this, knows I wrote it bearing all their influence, good and bad, percieved by the brain of yours truly. Through all the experiences I had over the past year I'd have to say that in the past year I've learned more than I've accumulated in my entire life. It's only until today that I believe I have schooled myself with full force. Schooled like moses got when he came with those commandments and was like holy shit!
It's come to this, like the death and rebirth of the phoenix I'm flamin up good like that building over by north lincoln bridge with me standin on it chillin watchin it with a whiskey sour and a couple buds.
ask me anything. I suppose this has been written mostly for my benefit, with the added flair of knowing that maybe at least one person will read it. sometimes when the muse calls its imperative to answer. In all seriousness, if I have more posts they will probably not be so melancholy, my brain just puked all of this out. like floodgates. that were opened. and stuff. hahhaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
to all you haters out there keep hating you'll fall on black days eventually when your own evil ways catch up to you. your kind won't be safe for long, if you even are now. it's all nice to be doing the fucking until you're fucked, doesn't feel so good anymore hey? yeah. to all of you that roll with me or aren't quite rollin but thinkin about it, keep rollin and those who are thinkin about it fuckin DO IT. have no fear. nick is here.
fitting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPNxNfsQbkE&search=welcome home coheed - much love to A.M. for the link, and much love to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuooooooouuououuuu I haven't heard this song in too long.		  
     Read 1 - Post
 
mercy me   
07:16pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: teacheriffc
music: Insane Clown Posse: Sedatives
oh dear look how long its been. I haven't updated this in forever it smells old and stale in here. I guess it's time for some changes. Where am I going with this, I don't know.

I thought it was time for changes so I switched the font from this to a strawberryish red, then I was like what the fuck. Change is uselesssss. Change is only an attempt to fix something. Does that mean its fixed? NO. Trying to fix something in fact only guarantees failure, One must adapt to circumstances. What do you wish to change, it's all relative. What do you will yourself to become? Why ask? Why care? And why are there so many fucking why's. shit.

Why not? What's eating you up? In order for others to taste what we are, we must be full of ourselves first. I'm hungry. I seem to have forgotten many things. It's good I remember. I've choked my own voice. I don't blame anyone of course but myself. I'm pretty well down. How can you drink from my cup without emptying yours first? Mine's empty, I'd gladly guzzle yours.

But I'm still missing *****. :D WHAT??!!!!!

ready?

NICHOLAS

- DONT LET THEM SAY ANYTHING>		  
     Post
 
Update   
05:45pm 24/05/2005
  Been out for awhile.

It's remaining hadrensguitar, even though I quit the band over a year ago.

People are selfish, a few are generous.

45715 + 59386311

that's all.		  
     Read 1 - Post
 
   
02:42am 21/10/2004
  ^_^ bitch I h8 u I hope u die ^_^  
     Post
 
 
hadrensguitar
 
 

Advertisement